The World Needs Heroes

Evening sport fans. The season is under way and all you hockey nuts can quit pretending to enjoy the CFL. It really is inferior to the NFL, you know it, quit claiming it aint.  I have watched some games and some TSN and Sports Center and Score, etc etc and am ready to rock this shit right out of the muthafuckin box ya’ll. Well time to make some enemies with this post as their are some really retarded sport fans out there. You know who you are, Leaf fans mostly but there is the occasional Hab fan amongst us too. 1st off both those teams are not making the playoffs. Montreal will compete for a spot but fall short and the Leafs, well they flat out suck but at least it appears that finally they are rebuilding properly. Now all you retarded Leaf fans who have cheered and cheered for these bunch of losers though the past 2 decades may finally see the playoffs, in just 2 more years I might add.  I am going to start with the Eastern Conference. I don’t do the division thing as that is just too complicated and gay. It’s bad enough that the winner of the Atlantic division gets the automatic 3rd seat in the conference. Alright so here are the 8 that make it in somewhat of a particular order. Pittsburgh Penguins with the two best scorers in the NHL, an above average goalie and great team chemistry are a shoe in, unless the whole team gets hit with the 25 day flu. Philadelphia and its Flyers are the most improved team with their Free Agent signings. Their defense is damn solid and if Emery can do what he did in Ottawa, no not that where he whined and bitched till they deported him, that thing where they went to the finals, they will do good and I am even predicting them to make it to the Final.  The Washington Capitals with their high powered offense and “the best player in hockey.” should make the playoffs again but will be eliminated as the “greatest player in hockey.” someone will manage once again not lead them to the finals but still win the Hart Trophy even though he is not the best player in the league. He is in the top 5 tho and he is only there because he takes 500 shots/season. Do the math? 10% of his shots are goals. I’d bet both my nuts that if I took 500 shots I could, no would,  get half as many goals as he does.  Alright back on track here. The Carolina Hurricanes have probably the best and most under rated goalie in the league. When he is hot, they win, no contest. They also have a nice enough team with good enough chemistry and players to compete with the star players. New York Rangers will again buy themselves a playoff spot. Mostly because of their goalie. He is SOLID. They have the stars to play and score. They might even make it into the 2nd round. The Buffalo Sabres have been a highly talented offensive team for a few years now and would have made the playoffs last year if their goalie did not get injured and finish the season from his couch. The Ottawa Senators with their new goalie and minus Heatley are going to make it in this year. The last team in should be the Devils because Matrin Brodeur refuses to die. I am guessing that the last 4 or 5 spots will be a fight to the finish. Montreal and Tampa might nip at the heels but not for long.

Now for the Wes, also in particular order give or taket. I am predicting the same 8 are going to make the playoffs as last year but I’ll do a little summary for your liking anyways. Gotta find a way to tick you off some more so…. It is hard not to like the Flames. They added the top off-season defensive defenseman and once again look like they can do it all. For some reason though they always fall apart and have many people scratching their heads till the bone is showing. I predict this year that my team will do it all and take the cup beating Philly in 6 games. The god damn fucking Detroit Load Swallowers will make it again but finally their goalie from 1998 is gonna shit his pants on the ice and no ref will want him near their cock even if he has no teeth left. The San Jose Sharks who crapped the bed as well last year will be stronger with the addition of Heatley. This trade benefitted both teams.  San Jose is alot like Calgary but they lack depth and scoring. The Ducks always seem to find young stars, especially goalies. J.S. Giguerre who won the Con Smythe Trophy, the year the Ducks lost is the back up goalie. The Dallas Stars were injury ridden last year and should be able to make it with a healthy roster. The Vancouver Canucks are going to make it too. Their fans are starting to remind me of Leaf fans. You know, those every year we are winning the cup. Well How are you gonna do that. Your defense is sloppy, your scoring is good for a junior team. You have 1 guy. RobiLou. He can’t do it alone. He also can’t play consistant enough for the required games. Vancouver can’t score and they lean heavily on their last line of defense.  I am sick of your fans too. You aint winning anything but congrads you have a nice enough team to make the playoffs. The Chicago Blackhawks have a fast, young team that can score. They make defenseman look silly and goalies even more so. However they lost their goalie and you need that to win in the next season. Columbus lead by the best big man in hockey will again scrape into the playoffs. These Bluejackets still are not getting it tho and watch them lose in 5 to whomever. The Blues, and Oilers are going to make it tough for the Jackets to make it. All the other teams are improved but still are not ready.   Night Sportsfans.