The World Needs Heroes

Well it was an interestng 24 days but the journey ends shortly. I am no longer an unemployed bum. Starting Monday I have to go to work at 8:00 am. My that is early isn’t it. I just got used to sleeping in. Oh well it’s kinda nice having a reliable source of income. As of now I have none but I believe in about 1 week I will get paid.
Just thougt I’d mention this again so the ninjas don’t assasinate me but on May 23 at 3:00 pm Weyburn will be hosting it’s 1st Annual Ninja Parade, at least that’s what the flyers around town say.

Isn’t it nice to see someone kick back and relax a little. Looks like Vernon Wells is enjoying life almost as much as yours truly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpY2jpoZRf0

It’s been confirmed. Service Canada now knows my true identity. I knew who I was all along but now all of Canada does as well. Soon I will become a household name. My evil goldfish are not sucumbing to the taste of human flesh yet. They haven’t died yet either so there is still hope there. Also I saw a flyer in town the other day. Apparently Weyburn is hosting its 1st Annual Ninja Parade on May 23 at 3:00 p.m. It will be located in downtown Weyburn. I feel obligated to tell people this as its ninjas. They might kill me if I do not spread the good word.By me also telling you this, if my death does come, inform everyone that the ninjas had a hand in it. That was alot of work for someone unemployed. I am going to take a nap now. PIE ECE.

Facebook is EVIL. FUCKING EVIL and almost completely and utterly USELESS. Read this article, take you time as I am quite aware that alot of my followers have a shoe size that is greater than or equal to their I.Q. http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090313/facebook_bore_090315/20090315
FUCKING TOLD YOU ALL SO is all I have to say about that. I completely agree with this article. FUCKING TOADUSO.

Well I now have pets. Unemployed people need pets. They are a source of entertainment. I have 4 gold fishes named Goldie, Gold, Princess Bella, and Princess Ballerina. I am doing some looking on the internet. Apparently it is rather difficult to train gold fish to kill. I have faith that I have enough time to do so however. First I must get them accustom to the taste of flesh. I am currently feeding them raw hamburger with their fish food mashed into it. It doesn’t seem to be working very well, they are only picking out the fish food and leaving the hamburger. Maybe I have super intelligent fish soon to be super intelligent man eating fish. Gotta take baby steps with this project though. I have a lifetime to train my minion. Oh I also got pets as they are a substitute food source when things get really rough. 

The boredom bug has bit me pretty damn hard. I thought retirement would be fun, turns out you need a hobby to do this retirement thing. Well I’m conducting an experiment. I’m not sure how well it will work but we will see. I plan on purchasing a pet that is doomed, dooomed. Why would I put an animal thru its inevitable death. Well I am one sickass mofo, bored as fuck too. Also I have yet to find a wife to unleash my rage upon and I already have children so I figure a pet is the next in the line of unemployment cruelty. The poor unsuspecting fish, oh and society never knew what hit them either.

Aren’t pretty people amasing. Not only are they pretty but they are.. they are..  oh what’s the word I’m looking for,  hmmm……  DUMB. That’s it. pretty people are amasingly dumb. Well not all of them are dumb, just most of the one’s I happen to come across. Oh and if I ever tell you “It’s ok, you’re pretty,” or “Good thing you are pretty,” I am referring to you at that moment in which you did something. Although if you are ugly and do something dumb, I won’t say anything so you pretty people in my life should feel blessed. Let me tell you about my wonderous day. It all started when I was talking to a friend. We’ll call her Kim. That’s her name. I found out something very important when talking to Kim, do not talk with a pregnant woman about food. Especially when they agree with you on the deliciousness of that particular food. You’ll end up eating it with her. Such was the case. Off to Regina I went. As I neared our destination of meeting, I remembered why I hate parking in downtown Regina, frankly because you can’t. I circled the building of meeting a few times trying to find a spot when I eventually gave up and parked 3 blocks away in a private parking lot. We met, hopped in the car and took off to have the world’s greatest pizza. It was well worth the $40 with the tip and leftovers for tomorrow at a time of my choosing, likely supper. Damn that sauce rocks, and the crust, and the toppings. It is a little slice of heaven. Kicks Pizza Hut’s mother fucking ass. Then we were off on a quest of great importance, Frisky Dingo. I had been searching high and low and could not find the damn show anywhere. I had checked Walmarts, Future Shops, Zellers’ssss, HMV’s, and CD Plus’ssss with no avail. I even broke into a few neighboring homes and came up with no damn Frisky Dingo,  some new credit cards though, which are always nice for trips. Here’s a tip, do not use a neighbor’s stolen credit card in the town you stole it from. It’s just common sense. Anyways off to a new unheard of video store, Kim was making up for her devoring of my pizza, though her navigation skills could use some minor tweeking. We find said video store, after we gave up in the parking lot drove, double backed, then double backed again (props to ZZ Tops for the beards and the song). Frisky Dingo ws found and is now in my collectin, both season Time for some relaxation and ice cream as the thoughtful driver thought of, that’s me. We get to Dairy Queen and I order a rootbeer and a sundae. Now pay attention to my order, did you get it. Rootbeer and a sundae. You sure you got it. Are you to pretty to understand that I want a soft drink and a sundae. Good, just checking. Well if you guessed that I ordered a soft drink and a sundae then congradulations, you have a greater IQ then my server at DQ. I truly applaud you at this feat of uptmost impossibilty. Alright she was pretty, thank god for her there or the poor girl would be doomed, doomed, doomed. Alright I’ll tell you what I got. I got a sundae with strawberries, and get this… are you ready….  are you sitting down…..  I got another sundae, with rootbeer on it. Yes that’s right. How can you not handle a simple order of 4 things. Some people really need to be pretty to get through life. This girl is no exception. Well some laughs were shared at the table. Kim wondered why I didn’t complain. It was simply too funny to complain about, and I really did pity the poor girl. I also called a friend and left him 3 nice messages on his phone and I purchased a book before I left. Yes, yes the owner of this blog does read books,  no there are no pictures in this book and it is more than 25 pages. I didn’t look to see how many but it’s pretty darn thick. I’m gonna guess it has more than 200 pages. Can he read it, yes he can.

Do you know what grinds my gears? Fucking Service Canada. I am in the process of drawing EI. Well at 7fucking30 in the morning my phone goes off. It’s Service Fucking Canada and a male voice trying to speak English is trying to speak to me. Now it did take some time for both him to speak English and for me to wake up. The point of his call was to inform me that I apparently mispelled my mother’s maiden name. Which happens, I’m ok with it, the problem is now I have to prove that I am me to them. Even tho I told them to replace the “a” with an “o”. That’s not fucking good enough apparently. Now I am about to be engulfed with paper work. Muthafucka. Don’t these people now I am trying to reduce my boredom? Bastards. Oh well its not like I have anything better to do,  but I wish I did. Oh and don’t worry, I was able to fall back asleep after my phone conversation.

So here I am again. What’s new with me you might be asking yourself. Well not a damn thing and I like it. Last night I watched the Blue Jays win their first game of the season. They simply spanked the Tigers. I also watched the beloved and somehow always ready to disappoint Flames take over 1st in their division, again. Today I am going downtown. Got to resubmit an insurance claim on my daughter. The company somehow goofed and tried claiming my ex wife. I don’t know why they did that but the retards did.
I was rudely awaken this morning by a call from a telemarketer. I was rather impressed as this one did speak the English language quite well,  you all know what I am talking about. This call was about identity theft. I pity the poor sap that steals my identity in hopes of making some major purchases. I am not the closet billionaire that my prestiges lifestyle dictates. Anyays I was half asleep so I listened and she had me until she said what it would cost, $14.99/month. That is half the price of a case of good beer and dammit i have my priorities. I said no then she continued on with her little blurb about how identity thefts are an ongoing…  then I hung up. No means no. I do not appreciate getting telemarketer raped, especially when it is the first thing to happen to me in the day. My poor bunghole has taken enough of a beaten from society and you never know, 1 more raping might rupture something.

Yes yes I am on a nice little vacation now. For how long, I do not no, where I am going to go, I have yet to decide. What am I going to do, well hopefully sleep in alot, take alot of naps, and drink myself silly. What else to people that not work do?  I’m going to exercise a bit too. There is a myth out there about a certain “pogey belly” and I am hoping mine does not grow. Time will tells as this as an unforseen and unpredicatable future. I know 1 thing I wil be doing, I have been contacted by a very secretive and illusive group to plan a small parade for them. That’s all that I know I will be doing. If anyone out there needs any small simple tasks accomplished, let me know. I am quite bored. Bored bored bored bored. That’s about it for now, give me a shout out peeps.