The World Needs Heroes

I just got new today that as of March 31, 2009 I will be no longer working where I am. If you want a tour of this lovely old building you have to act now and act fast. I’m almost 110% positive that I will not be able to give tours when I no longer work here. For 1 they are doing major renovations to the building that are scheduled to take a year. That and I am guessing that when I no longer work here, I’ll have to return my keys.

As of now I am going to start job hunting. I’m hoping I can land something nice. I will work anywhere if I have to but I am far from being desperate. Maybe I’ll look into buying into The Tyrant’s bottled water company or perhaps working for him. 2 people pissing in a bottle is better than 1.

Alright, this is another public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit. The views and opinions expressed here by The Tyrant are not to be taken lightly. The Tyrant also enjoys fucking shit right the fuck up.

That’s right I own you. Don’t believe me? I own a water company. My company gets tax breaks to build a plant on a 99 year lease, from your town, to suck the water from it’s aquifers at a rate of 280 gallons a minute. That water is then pumped into large trucks and hauled 3000 miles away to a plant in some mountain town and emptied into plastic bottles (“bottled in
Placeyouveneverheardof Springs, Canada”). Those bottles are put into trucks and then shipped back to your town where I charge you $1.75/500mL for the privilege of drinking water that has been touched by the hand of the Tyrant (oh and I don’t wash my hands). Guess what I paid for the water….zilch, nothing, nada, because my business is a private business just like any other in your town and I have unlimited access to it, especially after I convinced your town council that you needed to have jobs, economy and infrastructure. There are no limits to the amount of water I can pump from your streams, rivers, lakes or wells because the government makes so much money from the taxes on the water I sell it would be silly to put limits on that! Don’t worry gang, when your taps run dry, I’ll be happy to sell you my water! What’s that you’ll store rain water? Not after my high-priced lawyers are done with city council. We will legislate that water storage will lead to larger mosquito populations, or that the water has to back into the aquifer. I will effectively make collecting rain water illegal and force you to drink my water! You’re going to have to pay a premium though because some of the large soft drink companies are thinking about buying me out and taking over my business making me a multi-millionaire and leaving you with “name your favorite” Cola in your backyard.  Go ahead and bitch but no one will listen to you because I will give all sorts of perks to city council. Not to mention that all the families who work for me now living in your town will never vote anyone out of city council because they want to keep their jobs and feed their families. You think $1.50/L for gasoline is a rip-off; I charge $3.50/L of water. Forget jokes about taking out a mortgage to put gas in your car, you will have to indenture yourself and bow down to me if you want to live by drinking my water! What’s that you say? You can’t own water? That’s exactly my point. YOU can’t own water, therefore I have not broken any laws and henceforth, you can’t sue me, or my organization. It’s a simple equation. I control the water, without water you are nothing = I own you! If you don’t think I can get away with this, you’re sadly mistaken. I already have.

 

I am the Tyrant

Master of Dark Illusions present and accounted for. Seems your getting a nice little bitter taste of the dark side and The Tyrant’s world. He does own you. He owns me even. Why do you think I would allow such statements to be made on my blog. Because The Tyrant owns me, therefore he owns my blog, which is his blog. He just allowed me to have a little creative control with it and in return “the owner” wants to speak his mind every week or so, depending on how he pleases. It is his blog, he owns it, he owns the water to it. Now that you all now some of the truth with the world and its surroundings the question that is on everyone’s mind is, Which bottled water company does The Tyrant own? There are so many to choose from. Have fun kids and also just think about this too, Does The Tyrant seem like the kind of person that would put a few drops of his own urine in the bottled water? Hmmmm….

Alright, this is another public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit. The views and opinions expressed here by The Tyrant are not to be taken lightly. The Tyrant also enjoys fucking shit right the fuck up.

Time,  there’s always so much and so little of it. I have hit the ripe age of 28 years of age and I must say that it seems to go by faster the older I get. All too often I plan for tomorrow and don’t live enough for today. It’s funny how we go through our lives day in and day out just plugging away mostly oblivious to the fact that we could die at any moment of the day. Maybe you choke on a chicken bone, slip on some ice, die from sleep apnea, lose a battle with cancer, die in a horrific car accident., or maybe you feel trapped in your life and decide it’s time to take a bow and eat your own gun.  No matter what you do though time keeps going on and I think my biggest fear of death is that it’ll be like you are leaving some party before it’s done.

 Time is the biggest killer of all. Time causes stress. Time ages you. Time beats you down and withers you away. The earth has been around for 4.5 billion years (yes it’s true, the bible is just a book, that was written by men,  and Jesus himself said “forget all that has come before me” if you call yourself a Christian then you have to listen to Christ and that means Genesis is bullshit) and in the earth’s history continents have come together and broken apart several times and it’s going to happen again. If we compressed the entire time of the earth into 1 day, humans will only have lived for a minute at best.

I think it’s funny how uppity people get over the environment. We can’t destroy the planet people! What we can do though is make it unlivable for most of us. In time, the earth will recover from the abundance of Carbon in the atmosphere and the cycle will repeat itself…provided we don’t get wiped out by a meteor.

So with all this doom and gloom you have to wonder, are the junkies onto something? Think about it. If you are a heroin addict, you only have one priority in life….find more heroin, put it in your veins. It’s absolute pain-free bliss, and a contentment to just simply exist. If we have only a limited amount of time on this planet do you really want to spend your whole life chasing the green dragon and climbing the career ladder only to find out it might be leaning against the wrong wall? I’m not saying “fuck the world I quit” but I’m trying to say there are no rules for living.  Stop and smell the roses and enjoy your time here in this place and time.

If you’ve lost your job and you’re feeling desperate because you’re about to lose your house or your lifestyle that you are accustomed to, relax. It could be a lot worse! Do you have your health? Do you love your family? People lived in this land for thousands of years (yes we get records from carbon dating and oral stories that have been passed down for generations. I’m sorry but its true and the earth was not created in 6 days, that is just a story like the story of Thesius and the Minotaur to help try to make sense of the world. We’ve evolved past that now so pull your heads out of your asses) and they didn’t have cars, or horses, lighters or matches, but they had each other, and they enjoyed their time here.

To survive and stand the test of time we need to adapt and look to the past for sustainability.  Time can be a teacher, a healer, a friend but can also be a foe, a killer,  an uncontrollable beast.  It cannot be created or destroyed.

Enjoy it while you have it

The Tyrant

Master of Dark Illusions here and time is of the utmost important here. I may only have a few short breaths left,  or I might die at the ripe old age of 361. You never know. I will offer you readers some advice. Live each day like it’s your last. Do what makes you happy, not others. Live with no regrets. Every descision you have ever made in your life, good or bad, has affected who you are today. You might even continue to change. We learn from our past blemishes more so then our triumphs. I am going to leave you with a quote of greatness. A man who fears death, has never truely lived.

Master of Dark Illusions out.

 Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element  yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has  one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198  assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be  detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Morning piss tanks. Arise from your drunken slumbers and listen y’all. Master of Dark Illusions commands you to hear thine words of wisdom. You guessed it. I am some pissed off again. Mother Fucking Nature has really pissed me off this year. It all started with summer when the bitch tried to cook me out of my shorts. Luckily for everyone she aint to bright and was completely unaware that I have in my very person the ability and the tools to fight such extreme heat. It’s called gatorade. It’s wonderfully tasting electrolites help replentish a dehydrating and body. They also have the things plants crave. Then the bitch dumped snow and snow and more goddamn fucking snow upon me. At one time my front step entirely vanished from the eyes of anyone, I however am not alone in the fight. I have some tools and loyal followers that help the needy. I gave a call to a friend and he was over rather promptly to blow me. He did a fantastic job. Not only did he pay attention to the front, but the back as well. I appreciate that. however I will keep this Trevor fellow nameless as I do not want to get anybody jealous out there of his thorough and satisfying blowing work. I had barely butted out my cigarette from the when the fucking bitch struck again. She dumped more mother fucking snow on my yard. I had to again call the forever nameless Trevor, you know what, I’m just gonna call him Trevor. He again blew and blew till I was completely satisified. Then I offered him a beer to get he bitter and salty taste out of his mouth and he was off to blow others. He is very dedicated. A few weeks passed, all was calm. Then it happened again. The bitch covered us again. I once again called Trevor but this time he was beaten to the punch. I have a very neighborly neighbor who blew me. He did an excellent job as well, almost as good as Trevor. All was good for a day then again the driveway was filled in. I shovelled and shovelled till my back and shoulders were sore. Got it done though. Then the next day again the bitch bring forth the snow to filleth in my pathway to salvation. Again my sore back and shoulders went to work. Got that accomplished too tho. Then the fucking bitch tried freezing me. It was in excess of -50 and that’s Celsius. Only you jack offs Americans would use a different stard of measurement do to your arogance. It’s called the metric system, everyone uses it except you. Grow the fuck up and get with the times. No body cares that room temperature is 75. Anyways I survived the cold, even walked in. That bitch can’t take me down. Oh I should mention that after being sore for 2 weeks from removing snow I gave up and vowed to only shovel when absolutely needed. Like when no mail has arrived at your house since last Friday needy. The bitch had won. I bowed in defeat hoping for mercy. Mercy did not come. She is a very vengefuland spiteful bitch. You all know what a woman is like when she is pregnant. Even the mighty Grizzly won’t take down a pregnant woman. It knows better. Well mother fucking nature is a pregnant bitch that is having her special time of the month. Why has she picked me to torture. No one knows. I have done nothing to her. I recycle. I even quit defacating outside and its been quite sometime since I’ve urinated on her soils as well. No mercy tho. Fucking  bitch.This week she tried some new tricks. Rain. Now rain is a wonderful thing and I enjoy it, it makes the grass look green, and is quite refreshing when the bitch is trying to cook your nut sack. Tho this is hardly the time of year to be bragging about rain. Rain this time of year means ice. Ice is very fucking slippery. I saw a car hit its brakes and it was hopping, yes hopping through an intersection. I have never seen a 88 Olds hop before but this one did. I survived the rain, it really just made me walk like a penguin. Bit slower but I got to where I needed to go. Then it snowed the next day. It snowed alot. My car vanished, my front step vanished and snow does not make traction for walking on the ice. Luckily there was enough of it that morning that I could high step to work with ease without slipping. Now that things are cleared one foot occasionally passes the other. I have remained upright tho. With all this snow blocking my path for salvation and putting a damper on my weekend plans. I called up ol Trevor. Alas he is busy and has not been able to offer his blowing services.I did come home and noticed that my awesome neighborly neighbor had attempted to blow me. However he was having issues with his blower so I got a path from the street to the backl of my car. Sure beats walking through waist deep snow just to have lunch. Then that evening I hear some noise outside. I sprang from couch to see what was the matter. Peered through the blinds and pulled up my slacks. What I saw brought a great joy and less pain to my back. My neighbor next door had a skid steer and a red poof ball hat. I watched in amesment my heart filled with joy. As he cleared out his driveway and then did some more. He cleared off the street where he parked his blue truck. Took all the snow and fucking dumped it in front of my house and didn’t have the common fucking cuourtsey of taking 5 goddamn minutes out of his life to swipe through my driveway. That darn fucker in the red poofball hat. ASSHOLE I say, damn you to hell. At least there’s no snow there there I siliently yelled. So today since I have a hot date on the morrow, Snow I must shovel unless someone comes blowing. So yeah Mother Nature FUCK YOU. MERCY. I beg of you mercy.

Alright, this is another public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit. The views and opinions expressed here by The Tyrant are not to be taken lightly. The Tyrant also enjoys fucking shit right the fuck up.

Bloody Weather

In this great
province of Saskatchewan we usually experience some of the biggest temperature extremes in the world.  +40 in the summer and -40 in the winter can be quite brutal, particularly if you live in the southeast corner of the province. It just seems there is no break to the wind and freezing conditions. Then after a brief moist chilly spring, summer rolls in to roast by mid June until Mid-August. Out in the South west corner the odd Chinook will sweep in and warm the air enough for snow to melt and cause seriously slick driving conditions., but still a more bearable winter the “topics of Saskatchewan” if you will. Summer in the southwest is a killer! Air Conditioning is not an option, it is essential.

I’m not here to write a weather report but I am here to ask the question of “Why do we live here?” The answer is fairly simple for some people. Their family, friends live here. I found  work here. I was born here and stay because of the previous answers.  It is some serious hard living though. I mean it’s not Siberia, or Antarctica but it can be a darn mean unforgiving country.

I stay here for a few reasons:

 No Hurricanes: The big bad wolf of the Atlantic Ocean has no chance of blowing over a single wheat sheave.

No Earthquakes: Saskatchewan is one of the most geologically stable lands in the world. For all you Vancouverites reading mark my words, your leaky condos will fall into the Pacific one of these days.

No Landslides: The highest point in Saskatchewan is the Cypress Hills at 1347m and it’s a pretty small area it could possibly affect. Suck it Rocky Mountains, you can’t tread on us!

No Typhoons: The hurricanes of the Pacific have no chance of reaching us.

Tons of Fresh water: Water, water everywhere, especially up north. We shall never be thirsty (until the Americans come to steal it).

An Economy: It may be resource based but we actually have a chance of staving off this economic downturn.

Reasonably priced land/housing: Those Leaky 500 sq. ft. condos in Vancouver might run you 300-500k but here in Saskatchewan I can get a nice warm and dry condo for between 65-150k.

I was going to hat-on all the rest of the provinces for not being Saskatchewan…but it just wasn’t that funny.

Stay warm

Stay cool

The Tyrant

Master of Dark Illusions here. I just have to say a little blurb here. The Tyrant pays we well so
I guess I’ll oblige him and put forth some input. This week has been quite hectic or “normal Saskatchewan weather” as most of us here refer to it as. Though that doesn’t mean I like it one goddamn fucking bit. Monday it rained. Yes yes rain is great, I enjoy the rain most days. I however do not like it when it rains in the 5 month long season we call winter here. Why do you ask, well what happens to water when it gets cold? It freezes. So everything was nice and slippery out Monday. Now I enjoy slippery too but that is a whole different tale that does not involve the weather. It’s more of a reduction in friction type of slip but anyways yeah it was fucking slippery out. Then Tuesday, or yesterday as alot of you recall it snowed and it snowed and it snowed. My car is buried. Well I can tell where it is, it’s underneath the big snow pile in my driveway which really isn’t a snow pile, it’s just snow on top of my car. My driveway, and many others is about hood deep. Fucking lovely.  Now luckily for me I have a very nice neighbor and a good friend with a snow blower that come and help me out of such situations when they have the time. Well the time was yesterday which was awesome except for the fact that my neighbors snow blower had a malfunction. I do have a nice little walk path through my driveway though which is nice. I also have another neighbor that was borrowing a skid steer yesterday. I thought that was the tits but this neighbor is not very neighborly. He cleared his driveway, the street in front of his house, put all the snow on my side of the street and then went and left. Hey ASSHOLE why not take an extra 5 minutes and clean out my driveway too. I have 1 more thing to say, it is about friction or lack there of for this case. Do you know what happens when you put 2 feet of snow on top of a sheet of ice. I’m not sure what it’s called but you get a walking/driving condition that has a much higher sliding effect than just plain ice. Bloody fucking hellish weather.

Master of Dark Illusions out.

Well what are you waiting for? Give me some love.

Do you know what I am? I’m hate. I dropped the bomb on your country, I put the scars on your back, I put you in the oven, and I put those words on your tongue. Do you want to stop me. You’re too fucking stupid to stop me. I’ll even tell you how to stop me and I bet you still can’t.

But do you know what I am not? I am not not a spic, I am not a jew, I am not a paki, a chink, a whitey, or a nigger. I am racism. And I don’t discriminate. I hate you all equally. I hate hatred for hating me because I am hate manifest. You french kissed me and I left those words on your tongue and I spread easy so pass the hate.