The World Needs Heroes

In the 1400’s a law was 
set forth in  England that a man was 
allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence 
we have ‘the rule of 
thumb’

Many years ago in 
Scotland , a new game was 
invented. It was ruled ‘Gentlemen Only….Ladies Forbidden’…and thus 
the word GOLF entered into the English 
language.

The first couple to be 
shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma 
Flintstone.

Every day more money is 
printed for Monopoly than the U.S. 
Treasury.

Men can read smaller 
print than women can; women can hear 
better.

Coca-Cola was originally 
green.

It is impossible to lick 
your elbow.

Intelligent people have 
more zinc and copper in their 
hair…

The first novel ever 
written on a typewriter: Tom 
Sawyer.

The San Francisco 
Cable cars are the only mobile National 
Monuments.

Each king in a deck of 
playing cards represents a great king from 
history:
Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne 
Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius 
Caesar

111,111,111 x 
111,111,111 = 
12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park 
of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died 
in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as 
a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on 
the ground, the person died of natural 
causes.

Q.. Most boat owners 
name their boats. What is the most popular boat name 
requested?
A. 
Obsession

Q. If you were to spell 
out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the 
letter ‘A’?
A.. One 
thousand

Q. 
What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser 
printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by 
women.

Q. 
What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
A. 
Honey

It 
was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a 
month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law 
with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their 
calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which 
we know today as the honeymoon.

In 
English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old 
England , when customers got 
unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, 
and settle down.’

It’s where we get the phrase ‘mind your P’s and 
Q’s’

Many 
years ago in England , pub frequenters had 
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When 
they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet 
your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this 
practice.

Ok! What gives? What’s with the weather? It snowed a fuck of alot, which is 10 times as much as a hell of alot. Then it was a extremely chilly 50 belowish, give or take a few degrees depending on what time it was, and whether you were indoor or outside. Now today it is, well I donno, what’s the word, ummm ummm beautiful out. YEAH! It’s just fucking lovely out, no sarcasm even. It is quite a day to be out and about. Which brings me to my next thought. What the fuck is mother fucking nature planning? I’m not fooled by your trickery, you caniving bitch. You are up to something. I know it. I’m gonna enjoy today though and not let the thoughts of your future hardships ruin it for me. Just know that I know you know I know you are up to something. I also bet its big, nasty and ugly. Alot like the defacations I’ve been doing all over. That’s right, I have upped my arsenal on you. You bitch. Public urinations are back. as is littering and that whol erecyle thing, it’s a farce. I know for a fact that any paper that gets taken to the recyclers in this city end up with all the trash, at the dump. So I’m nt gonna lower my guard and stop my attack on you mother fucking nature. You fat cow of a fuck. I’m gonna continue defacating and urinating outdoors whenever I please. Today should be alot easier since I don’t have to worry about freezing certain parts to certain places. Anyways, I’m onto you. Enjoy the weather and do not fall for it. Mother fucking nature is not over her rag yet. She is a vengeful spiteful bitch, as most women go.

Alright, this is another public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit. The views and opinions expressed here by The Tyrant are not to be taken lightly. The Tyrant also enjoys fucking shit right the fuck up.

It’s the Tyrant here with another discussion. Santa Clause was good to me this year. I received a Nintendo Wii. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want it, but I got it. I wasn’t sure about this system at first because the graphics aren’t as quality as the PS3 or the 360.

I must say that Nintendo finally got it right (at least for Mii).

 

Nintendo disappointed me with the N64 not enough selection of decent games, I hated the controller and I didn’t care for the graphics. I liked the Game Cube much better but I still didn’t think it was worth buying especially with systems like the PS2 or Xbox out there with games that more appealed to me.

 

The 360 and the PS3 are just bigger better versions of their former selves with a bigger hard drive and slicker graphics. I would say the edge goes to PS3 because it has blue-ray capability, but the 360 has excellent online game play. You’d think that these features would trump the Wii with no internal hard drive limited online capabilities and less graphics. What the gaming public has now is 3 niche markets. If you love on-line games but don’t want a computer the Xbox 360 is the way to go. If you like in-depth games you can lose yourself in PS3. If you are a casual gamer who’s looking for innovation the Wii is definitely for you!

 

The Wii is innovative. Motion sensor controls are where it’s at! You actually get to move along with your view. Some people might not like this feature because they just want to veg out while they play video games and that’s fine, but according to my Wii Fit, I’m on the border of normal and overweight so I would much prefer to be able to combat the expanding waistline and ensure that my non video game activities (like sex with my girlfriend) are not put in danger. Although I’m sure that while playing these games you look like a freak while punching the air and stepping on a balance board. I’m sure the looks of these acts alone could put some gentlemen in danger of not getting laid. On the other hand, humans are social creatures and I know that plenty of people like to get together to play video games. It might be possible to have a Wii date with someone and score more than points.

 

Speaking of getting laid, I think the biggest problem with the Wii is the lack of adult content. There aren’t a whole lot of killing games or blood and guts. I think a hot seller would be “Wii Sex.” The game could seriously take advantage of the console motion controls. The Wii already has a wheel, zapper, handgun, swords and several others you just slip the Wii Remote into. The same could be done with a dildo, vibrator, fleshlight or blow-up doll. Nintendo has always been a leader in game technology. Remember the old NES robot? Combine that with Wii Sex and you have a partner to tag team all those virtual girls. This concept game could launch an entirely new industry, which could help the ailing pornography industry out (also looking for a government bail-out).  The online capabilities are endless from teaming up or going one-on-one (instead of the regular solo adventures) players could enjoy countless re-play hours. For those familiar with the Wii, it’s main interface consists of “channels” which could be pre-set for various adult oriented scenarios depending on what the customer is looking for.

Lube sold separately.

 

I am the Tyrant. 

Master of Dark Illusions here commenting on behalf of himself, as usual. I think the Nintendo Wii is a damn fine gaming console. I have found that most of the games are quite little kiddish, which isn’t a problem at all. It seems that todays game consoles now are each targetting a specific market. Now because of the Wii being slightly more kiddish then the other game consoles I can’t see them getting involved in the porn industry. It might be a good idea for them however. People usually pay pretty big bucks to pleasure themselves and others. I do see a new epidemic of diseases being formed and transferred from this. You know when your friend uses your exercise equipment and doesn’t wipe the bench off and you get a rash. Imagine that when you are using your Wii fleshlight or vibrator or handcuffs or whatever butt plug you are chosing. Could be a bit worse then a sweat fresh from your friend Tubs. Just my opinion tho.

Master of Dark Illusions out

Alright I can’t take it anymore. Please oh please for the love of God stop. Stop doing this too me. Everytime it seems when things finally clear up, you go and do this. I give up. I’ll stop fighting you, I’ll stop cussing and mentioning your name in vain. I’ll even be kinder. I pay my taxes, I recycle, I even help out strangers from time to time. What more do you want of me. I have nothing else to give. I give up. You win. No longer will I fight with you. I evidently can’t win. I dig myself out, you just put me right back in. I have officially quit. FUCK YOU MOTHER NATURE. Quit fucking snowing on me. I’m tired of this shit. I get stuck, I shovel, I walk through it. Well FUCK OFF and die in a hole you wretched old bitch.

PS  Sorry

PPS  FUCKING BITCH

It’s FUCKING

COLD OUT