The World Needs Heroes

**1. Act like you have massive tourettes syndrome. Swear loudly at somone, apologize profusely, and fall to the ground crying
**2. Sit in your car on the side of a road with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down

Fun Things To Do In Public Restrooms
1. Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2. Complement people on their shoes.
3. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation.
4. Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects and after a while, drop a cantaloupe into the bwol from as high up as you can.
5. Ask the person in the next stall if there's anything swimming in their bowl.
6. Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
**8. Simulate a drug deal.
9. Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10. Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11. Start a sing-a-long.
12. Act schizophrenically.
13. Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....
14. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.
15. Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"
16. Write 'nerdy' graffiti like "Please wash your hands. Thank you."
17. Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.
18. Pour water over the stall door onto occupant.
**19. Say "Oops... missed" while syringing water out around the bowl and under the walls and door into other stalls.
20. Rub chocolate on your hands, reach under the door and say, "Hey buddy. Got any toilet paper? (Taken from Howie Mandel.)
**21. At night, switch off the lights.
22. Collect a door charge.
23. Ask "Is there a doctor in the house?"
24. Impersonate Elvis. Be convincing.
25. Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python.
26. Write essay questions on the toilet paper.
**27. Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.
28. Offer refreshments.
29. Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.
30. Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"
31. Charge admission.
32. Electrify metal urinals.
33. Leave a ladle in the toilet bowl.
**34. One word: GOLDFISH.
35. Make a jelly in the bowl.
36. Place a sign advertising "Driver's side airbags" as standard.
37. Remove stall doors.
38. Glue seat and cover down to bowl.
**39. Place signs warning of 24 hour video surveillance.
**40. Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.
41. Put itching powder on the toilet seats.
42. Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.
43. Replace soap in dispenser with custard.
44. Completely soak the towel in the towel dispenser, or the paper towels if available.
45. Make kitty litter trays that fit into toilet bowls. Install.
**46. Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).
47. In one stall, attach the toilet bowl to roof. (Advice for young players: Don't leave the water in while you do this....)
48. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette.
**49. Get a mannequin from a store and hang it by a noose in the stall.

Fun thing to do in Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
**6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters like "7/22/08 BEWARE".
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
**10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
**13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap,
anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
**16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic?" if they say "Yes it is magic" then looked scared, point at them and go "WHITCH WHITCH"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
**23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
**27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down.
**29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
**31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
**35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I
need some tampons!!"
36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
**38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
**39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet
food aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
**46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture.
**48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"
52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your
head and walk around the store casually.
**53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the
mannequins.
54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
**58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and
women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
**60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch
everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse
through, say things like "buy me" "no me" in different voices
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
64. Go to an empty checkout, and stand behind the cashier and try to check people out.
**65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every
cologne there is, then walk up to a girl who is with another
guy and start flirting with her in that annoying, way.
"hi!!! What's your sign?" When the girl
shows no interest, start hitting on the guy the exact same way. "hi!!!! What's your sign?"
**69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!
70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!"
71. Hit on the elderly.
72. Hit on 5 year olds. (Warning this might get you arrested, trust me)
73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen,Ii think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.
74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind
customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.
80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say
"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You digust me" Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-like as you can
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your
"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.
85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms
and legs around like your having some kind of massive
seizure.
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the
store.
**87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department
90. Put lingerie in the men's department.
91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around.
92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone is trying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little attention" Then run away crying.
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.
**94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap your hands over your ears and start screaming
"NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO
NO NO NO!!!!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the
eyes, and Calmly say "I...will start...a fire..." The pull out a zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don't light the zippo, just hold it closed.
95. Light a match under a sprinkler.
**96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.
97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.
98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"
99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
**100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen my mommy?"
*Try and do all of these in one trip without getting kicked out*

Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
**3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
**8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
**10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
**26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them then push the wrong one.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
**48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting bigger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
**54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
**55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"
**58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.