The World Needs Heroes

Alright, this is another public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit.

It’s The Tyrant here, and I’m tired of being an energy slave! Being a moderate middle income earner with high student debt, I have nothing I can really do to get out of this situation. I’ve toyed with the idea of renewable energy, but can’t afford the capital costs of the technology. I’m also concerned about the environment as well and am looking to do my part. Well, I have discovered the solution to solve both the energy crisis and the environmental crisis, and I found it in the least likely place…
China.

 

Yes folks China has one natural resource like no other and I don’t mean coal! People! China has over 1 billion people cramped in crowded cities, and are quickly industrializing. Dams are being built, and coal fired power plants are popping up all over the country to meet the demand but they are overlooking the endless possibilities of utilizing people based power.

 

I’m talking energy factories. The government could build a large multi-level habitation/generation plant right in the middle of a city, or rural community. The floors would be loaded with bicycles connected to generators. In a communist country like China, the people riding the bikes get paid the same as anyone else. A quota system could be put in place to set minimums that a person should produce in a day/shift, as well as, over-quota incentives for “going the distance.” A typical generator connected to a bicycle produces roughly 200W of electricity, which isn’t too much. If several bikes were connected together, say 5 of them then you multiply it. 5 X 200W= 1KW. Once Kilowatts of electricity being produced the potential starts becoming limitless.

 

There are 24 hours in an Earth day, which would mean 3 shifts would be required to maintain the power grid. In a multi-level facility the different levels could have staggered shift changes so the power supply would be maintained. Lets take, for example, a fraction of the Chinese population about 3 million people divided over 3, 8 hour shifts. This means there would be 1 000 000 X 200W = 200MW of electricity produced!

 

While this system would work well in China, it could work well in other countries with different populations as well.

 

The unemployed or homeless could find a quick turn around if they accepted servitude into their lives. A dormitory style living for single people would keep them housed and clean. The job would provide them money to get off the street. A contract signed with the company could insure no interruptions in power while lawfully obligating the person to stay off the street for a period of time.

 

The opportunities for the challenged or handi-cappable members of society are endless as well. Instead of condemning these people to lives in a recycling plant or mental institute, we could be harnessing them for the greater good! They might not have the mental capabilities to read, write, or communicate well, but slap a helmet on them and watch them peddle!

 

This system could be adapted to serve the United States as well. The U.S. has one of the largest prison populations in the world. If they converted prisons into energy farms instead of letting them sit around and get into trouble, they could solve some serious problems. There would be less violence, fewer brown-outs and could pose a real deterrent to crime if people knew they would have to do something if they went to prison. Incentives could be created based on the quota system. If a person produces so much electricity over the course of their sentence, they would be able to be released early. It would also offset the costs of using the electric chair to execute prisoners.

 

In Canada, where there is a national healthcare system, power generation through this method would help people stay healthy by reducing the instances of cardio-vascular diseases. People could be paid a minimum wage, with room and board, benefits and vacation.

 

Mexico would benefit from this system because since energy is a tradable commodity, people would become a natural resource and we could import Mexicans, or maybe even to serve in these power plants. The people would be happy, to have a job and would benefit from the economic and political freedom.

 

The pornography industry would benefit because physical activity leads to a higher sex drive, which would mean more people having sex, or in need of masturbatory literature or toys. Not to mention, with so many physically fit people, the industry would have an influx of people ready to start new careers posing in the magazines.

 

I haven’t explored all the ripple effects or support industries that would benefit this new economic system, but I hope I have illustrated that it levels the playing field and gives equal opportunity for everyone to contribute to society with 100% altruistic thoughts in mind.

 

The Tyrant

Master of Dark Illusions here, it seems that my ummm, we’ll just call him friend so I don’t have to think anymore, has made another valid point. It seems that he has forgotten one tiny aspect of this new found energy source, the childrens. Think of the childrens, oh think of them in great deal. Now I don’t know if the Tyrant just forgot to mention this or if he is against child labor standards but have you seen the energy 1 child has. I know. They could be a phenomenial source of electricity, not to mention the new conversaations people could with their own kids. Go faster Daddy he’s passing you!! Well here drink a red bull son and pedal, pedal pedal!. Also with the growing obsecity dileman, aka the fat kid syndrome, why not get an early start on the problem. Fat kids be gone, and start generating me some power. Master of Dark Illusions, out.

So I watched this movie awhile back. I can’t remember the name of it but i had Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Rngval, and DJ Quails starring in it. They were lazy army reserves who were force to fight. They were on there way to the middle east when something happened and they got droppe doff in Columbia, I think they fell asleep in a military vehicle and it fell out of the plane. Anyways the movie was awful yet I still watched the extras. One of the extras was somewhat interesting. Danny Trejo was basically talking about his life. He is that big mexican guy with the tatoo of a lady on his chest. Now you know who he is. Well basically he spent most of his preacting career as a bank robber. He claims to have been in every jail in California. Him and his uncles robbed banks. He got his 1st tate of actin in Runway Train. He was coaching Eric Roberts on boxing. Most of his early roles have him playing someone in prison, well because he looks like a criminal and that tatoo resembles a prison tatoo. It might even be in fact I am not sure. The link below explains more and might correct a fe of my mistakes. I am going to look at it after.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001803/bio

OK, this is another public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit.

It’s the Tyrant here. I decided to weigh in on the coalition for
Canada vs. the Conservative (formerly the Reform) Party of Canada

Some people are not happy about the “power grabbing undemocratic” coalition party. People for the coalition are “tired of Steven Harper and his lies and inaction (proroguing government).” The question I have for people is “Do you want the puppet on the left or the puppet on the right?” People are so distracted by the political “Puppet Show,” they can’t see who’s pulling the strings. It doesn’t matter which party you vote for anymore, the same result would have happened because all the political parties are in on it! The new U.S. president and the out-going one are also in on it. What exactly are they in on? Something pretty terrible I can tell you! The plan is to make the government look inept, so people lose confidence in it. In Canada, the parliamentary crisis is creating a serious division in the way people see Canada. Die-hard western Conservative voters want to separate from Central Canada (still bitter over the NEP program started by Trudeau in the late ‘70s) and so does Quebec (for their own selfish purposes). People are so arrogant and pissed off with French separatists and Quebec in general that they fail to see what consequences of separation it or ANY province would have.

 

Here’s a little background on the Obama front. Obama is an American protectionist. He wants to bring jobs to the U.S., which would probably mean closing the auto-plants in Canada anyways. He also wants to “re-negotiate” the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), and basically dissolve it. These 2 events will tank our already tanking economy and probably bank-rupt the nation or at least bring certain aspects of it to its knees. With the auto-industry down, a million people will be out of work, and with NAFTA ended pretty much all other industries will go down the tubes creating a huge number of unemployed people. If no nobody is working, and with no one to sell our natural resources to, there will be fewer taxes collected which will push our already over taxed health care system to the breaking point, and it will be dissolved.

 

Unemployment and lack of healthcare will cause famine and pestilence to run rampant. It will inevitably lead to the next sign of apocalypse…WAR! This will come in the form of 3 possible scenarios but will all have the same outcome:

1. Revolution/Civil War: Dissidence and blame being put onto each of the other regions of Canada will cause a wave of separatist movements and a violent war could be fought on our own soil. This will lead to the next scenario.

2. Having no manufacturing sector, tight gun control laws, and an abundance of oil and fresh water, the United States might decide they need to “stabilize the country” and “develop our infrastructure.” This means, basically, because we have no guns and not means of building war machines; they just step in and say we own your ass now.

3. This final and most likely scenario will be a war not fought on the battlefield. The “kindly” American people seeing our struggle will invite parts of our country to join the United States but not in a conventional way. They will attack the minds, hearts, and souls of people struggling to scrape out an existence.

 

It’s pretty tough not to take a deal from the devil when you have a hungry family to feed. I think it would be hard pressed to find a single person who wouldn’t accept food for their starving children, even if it meant selling yourself into slavery.

 

Yes the final outcome: A North American Union. Canada and Mexico will have even less freedom and governments will be even bigger puppet states than they are now. Canadians will be promised jobs in the U.S. under the new Union (because they will have all the jobs).  However, because Canadians aren’t American citizens, we are not subject to U.S. Labor laws or any of their constitutional rights. This means random searches, brutal and underpaid work conditions, as well as, being marginalized like any other 2nd class citizen. Canadian soil will be no different.

 

In the future if a the wrong right-wing religious nut-job gets into power, they will outlaw birth control, and abortion creating a new class of criminals and another group to marginalize, just like the drug war. It should be easy to do because with no universal health care and no one able to afford treatment for STD’s any more. Promiscuity and sex for anything other than procreation will be outlawed (not that they’ll be able to enforce it very well). Chances are eugenics, which is already seeing resurgence in popularity, will become all too real a thing and only certain people will be permitted to breed. Don’t believe me? Do some searches on Google for DEA doctrine. Those people love the power their jobs give them. Think of all the surveillance toys they get to play with all “for the good of the nation” and of course what’s good for the nation, is good for everyone right? I’m sure Joseph Stalin would agree with that statement. 

 

This isn’t some nutty conspiracy theory. We’ve been approaching this outcome for some time. The North American union is just one more step on the ladder to Global Economic Union. 

 

Yes indeed things seem bleak for Canada and its freedom where all people are equal, but some are more equal than others.

 

Fear not! When the world is at its darkest, it is hope that shines it’s brightest.  The only way we can avoid all this is to follow the ideas of John Lennon and Peter Tosh, and Roger Waters. Respect each other! Get up and stand up for your rights! United we stand, dived we fall. If you love freedom, then don’t let people con you out of giving it up for security. Benjamin Franklin once said “Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.” Celebrate Quebec and the French culture of Canada for what it is! Help one another out. Stop blaming everyone else for your problems (especially those of other cultures and races). It doesn’t matter that our tax dollars go to bail out some greedy organization; it’s the common average Joe who will suffer and lose out in the end, which is you and I. I implore you to see past this “he said-she said” bullshit of political drama do what’s right for you and Canada and demand better of our “leaders.”

 

Next week’s topic: “Prisoners of Energy: Why the Renewable Revolution hasn’t happened yet”

 

The Tyrant

I feel there is something that I, Master of Dark Illusions has to add to this post by The Tyrant. See there sports fans the main reason behind this talks of coalition, which have ceased last I heard, seems the Liberals new leader and Mr. Harper are now getting along, the real reason behind these talks of coalition was money. Mr. Harper was proposing a pay cut for the parties. He claimed it was due to the economic crisis, I believe him and I should add I am no a Harper supporter. I’m not a politcs supporter actually but that’s a story for another cold mother fucking day, maybe tomorrow. The other reasoning that some believe is behind Harper’s cutting fundage is to eliminate his competition for next election. Now both of these might be true, in fact they probably are true but no one will ever know until there is a confession from someone. For now Mr. Harper is claiming it is because of the economic crisis. The other parties being eliminated would just be a bonus in his eyes. This works out great for him. Think about, it looks like he is doing his country some good, which he is and in the same time, he gets a leg up on his competition for the next election. So everything is run by “GREED”. Money is absoluely the root of all evil. I’m going to close on a Family Quote of some sorts here.Bare with me, I am not a Family Guy quote machine. It’s the one where Brian and Stuey went back in time to Nazi Germany. Stuey needed plutonium for his time machine so they could get back home. The Nazi Germans had some since they were working on the nuclear bomb. Stuey asks why the Americans don’t just come in and wipe them out, since they are building a nuclear bomb. Brian states because there isn’t any oil here. ZING!  alright I’m out.

Master of Dark Illusions

Got introduced to a comedian this weekend, via the best motherfucking site on the internet, youtube. I encourage all of you to go there and look up Jon LlaJoei. He’s from Montreal and he is damn funny. He has some great songs, like High as Fuck and everyday normal guy. He also has a webpage that is worth checking out. He has 33 videos posted on you tube and at least 30 of them are funny, depending on your sense of humor. So go check him out, motherfucker and then you’ll see why motherfucker is so funny, motherfucker.

Alright it’s been cold for a good week now and by cold I don’t mean put on a coat when you go outside. I mean cold as in my tits are frozen togeth. It was so cold that on Monday when I walked to work my water bottle that I carried with me had ice particles in it when I got to work. My bundled up journey to work only takes me 10 minutes so yeah it’s motherfucking cold. No sign of warmth either. So FUCK YOU WINTER. Why don’t you crawl back into that little fucking hole you came out of and stay there. Animals fucking hibernate, why can’t you winter. You got too much damn pride. You like see men lose track of their man parts. Fucking fucker. Stay the fuck outa my country you goddamn terrorist. you know our neighboring country hates terrorism and thinks everyone is a fucking terrorist. Watch you back Fucking winter. Watch it good. You are one short mother fucking phone call away from get a nuke crammed up your cramhole. Please Fuck Off. Fuck right the Fuck off and never fucking come around again. Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck. In other news today FUCK YOU WINTER. My balls are sorry you exist.

Saw something rather amusing last night. I went to watch my oldest, whom is 5, perform at the local Christmas concert in inbred central, better known as Radville. I call it inbred central as there are basically 2 last names in that area making up 80% of its population. Seems justifiable right? Anyways thats what is obviously wrong but back to my story. It’s like any normal Christmas concert held by little kids, K - 6 was the grades for tonight’s presentation. Nothing out of the ordinary at all except that on the curtains there were 4 posters. What were these posters you may be pondering? They had nothing to do with Christmas or the school or any religion. Tho Co op is starting to resemble a cult. These poster were ads, nothing fancy just a sign with a business name on it. Co op was one of them, Sears, S & E Grocery, and goddammit I can’t remember the other one. Son of a bitch. Oh well the point has been made. Now the question is why? Why are there ads posted at a K -6 Christmas concert? Is nothing safe from corporations nowadays. Like c’mon it’s a Christmas concert. There is enough controversy around it already. Oh as if religion isn’t controversy. Gimme a break, keep the adds out of somethings. Not everything needs to be marketed, advertised, and sold.

This is a public service anouncement brought to you in part by The Tyrant. The Tyrant does not give a fuck what you think. Little did you know upon reading this post you have just kissed his ass. The Tyrant is fed up with your shit.

Good day all! It’s The Tyrant  here with my first ever post. I told the owner of this blog I wanted to have an every-so-often column and well here’s one I came up with last night. 

There are people out there in the world who are suffering from life. Some are terminally ill, or  are tired of living with chronic pain, or are afraid of being a burden to their loved ones or society as a whole. I have no problem with people looking to kill themselves. Hunter S. Thompson, one of the greatest journalistic minds the world has ever known once said “I would feel very trapped in this life if I knew I couldn’t die anytime I wanted.” He then went on to eat his own gun much in the style of another literary great Earnest Hemmingway.  As I said I’m fine with suicide, heck I promote it. There is such an abundance of human life on this planet so great that it’s affecting the entire planet. Therefore killing yourself will help everyone else out because that’s one less person using up resources.

Using up precious non-renewable resources shouldn’t be something a suicidal person uses though, after all it only benefits the one person who is going to quickly exit this mortal coil.  The book Final Exit, by  Derek Humphry,  is  a how-to book for people looking to find a way to “self-deliverance.” One of the chapters discusses the “Plastic Bag and Helium Method” which involves the person placing the “exit hood” over their head and connecting it to a helium tank with the valve open in order to asphyxiate oneself.  It’s apparently painless. However, it is a HUGE WASTE of helium which is a non-renewable gas. The planet only generates about 3.1Litres of helium per year, and right now we are in the middle of a global helium shortage.  I implore you, if you are thinking about using the helium method to end your life…DON’T! For the sake of everyone else it is not worth it.

I understand dying with dignity, but seriously how is sending your last few moments on earth sounding like a chipmunk considered dying with dignity?

I’m not one to condemn something without offering some alternative solutions.

1.       Illegal Drugs Method: Heroin is an excellent pain killer and easy to overdose on. It shouldn’t be too terribly difficult to find a used needle from a junkie (what do you have to worry about getting AIDS?) and get tips off the internet on how to “cook” up a fatal hit. If you are able to that is because I don’t think anyone wants to put their friends or family members in danger of being arrested. However, if you are able bodied to attempt this method and you are about to get napped by the police, then that leads us to the second method.

2.       Suicide A la Po-Po Method: This works especially well if you are African-American or First Nation. All you need to do is something illegal (especially in the states) and then when they have you at gun point, quickly try to pull out your wallet or cell phone and they will oblige you. Police are trained to shoot to kill so don’t worry about being winged or grazed. This method will also probably make the news, and possibly even further a human rights cause.

3.       Empty Your Blood Method: Get some pillows and blankets together and make yourself a comfortable spot in your bath-tub with your head nearest to the drain.  DO some internet research on where to find the best arteries to slice open. Run a steady stream of water in the tub while you do this as the gentle white-noise of running water will help you focus on the task at hand, while also helping to keep the area clean and stop blood from pooling. This method is fairly painless except for the initial cuts. A topical pain reliever might help you out in this case.  It is pretty much like falling asleep as the life-blood spills out of you. This method has several advantages; the first: with all that weight shed from your body it will be much easier for the ambulance crew to cart you away with less strain on their backs. The second: As most of us know upon the moment of death, the human body evacuates all of its wastes. Since your corpse is already in a tub, this makes for a quick and dignified cleaning up., especially if you have a removable shower head.

4.       Good-old fashioned suicide bomb! Nothing says stand up for what you believe in than going out with a bang! If you do it in the name of (insert extremist religious deity here) you might end up with 85 virgins in the afterlife!

5.       Going out with a laugh and a smile: the Nitrous Oxide Method: This might be the ideal alternative to the Helium hood method, especially if you already spent money on your “Exit Hood.”  This method involves you or friend/family member picking up a whipped cream dispenser and some chargers for it about 20-30. The chargers should be dispensed into the hood, be sure to have the bottom enclosed because nitrous oxide is heavier than air and will escape though openings in the bottom.  Nitrous oxide will help kill pain in your final moments, and give you a feeling of euphoria, giddiness and you might even have a few final giggles to let out.  Similar to the Helium Method, the person should pass out within about a minute, with death following in about 5 more. Nitrous oxide is also a renewable resource.  One precaution: nitrous oxide is a strong oxidizer and will enhance combustion so ensure you don’t have candles burning too close to your soon to be lifeless carcass because they could pose a threat to ambulance staff, or even burn down the building you are in, which wouldn’t be very dignified would it?

This posting is no joke! Helium gas is a non-renewable resource! It should not be squandered on frivolous suicides and should be saved for the living.

Thank-you for your time,

The Tyrant

The Master of Dark Illusions does not endorse or agree with the opinions and ideas expressed here by The Tyrant. The Tyrant is one serious messed up individual and should not be taken lightly. The Master of Dark Illusions however would like you all to stop stealing his valueable resources you insignifigant pricks. I gots love for the ladies tho, no fatties however.

You know what I love about this job, the radiators. There’s one right in the mensroom stall. Its so great doing a sit down job and having that porcelain nice and warm. Makes your ass one happy camper as your grunting one out. It does have its disadvantages tho as if you strain yourself too hard in there you can almost break a sweat. Hows that for some personal information?

Was doing some digging around at work, since we are packing and moving, and I found a couple things of interest. I found a cassette eraser. Yup, not sure how it works. I don’t have any cassettes I want to erase so it shall remain another one of life’s mysteries. I also found an estate dated in 1940 where his will was written in pencil on a 4 foot long 2 X 4. Yup a hand written Will on a slab of wood. Finally I’ll get to the piece a la resistance. I found another Will dated in 1944 and I have a story behind this one. The guy was pinned underneath his tractor and dieing. He wrote his will in his own blood on the inner fender of his tractor. The piece of fender was cut that he wrote on and placed in with his estate, since it was his only Will. NEATO

The following is the list of ingredients on a Snicker’s bar with a warning at the end. It’s funny and you should read it. Also I will note that I do not repeat myself but the ingredients do.
Milk Chocolate (Sugar, Cocoa Butter, Milk Ingredients, Cocoa Mass, Lactose, Soy Lecithin, Artificial Flavour), Peanuts, Corn Syrup, Sugar, Milk Ingredients, Lactose, Salt, Dried- Egg White, Hydrogenated Palm Kernal Oil, Artifical Flavour. Allergy Information: May Contain Almonds