Thursday, June 28, 2007

My 2nd Date With Ryan

I guess there was somethign I liked about Ryan because when I asked him out for another date, OMG, he said yes. After driving around for a bit we stopped at the Keg. Kim was along but likely she left shortly to go to a meeting. Then it was just Ryan and myself. We had some delicious steak, some quite adorable small talk, and I topped it all of with a big girly dessert. It was yummy, the waitress even brought us 2 spoons. Ryan was too full tho, so it was all mine, SCORE!  Then we paid our tab and left. Went to get Kim, then saw what was playing for movies. Ryan wanted to see a boring chick flick, so we parted our ways.

In other news, I might have some thinking to do shortly. Seem I have a job interview tomorrow. I'll listen to what they have to say and decide what to do from there. Also this should be my last post of the month. I am likely gonna be quite pissed on Saturday. Ever heard of a toonie bar??  Well Saturday baby.  Happy Canada to all.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 19:30:40 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

News Flash

I just made the most amasing and important discovery today. This news will shock alot of you. I know some of you already know this but there is a 6:16 am. I know I was shocked too. You no what else? I do not like 6:16 am. I get up all tired and grouchy and hungry cuz I have no time to eat cuz at 7:00 am i have to go to work. Which reminds me,did you know there is also a 7:00 am. I know I am as shocked as you. I am hoping today that no one bothers me until that little hand on the clock is well passed the 10, like closer to the 12 passed.
Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 09:42:46 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Saturday, June 23, 2007

The Buffalo Theory

Well you see it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest animals in the herd. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the herd keeps improving by the regular killing of the weaker members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. Naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest cells first. In this way, regular consumption of alcohol eliminates the weaker cells making the brain a faster and more efficent machine.

Thus explaing why you feel smarter after a few beers.

Anyone know where I stole this quote from??

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 17:35:06 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Friday, June 22, 2007

Fuck You SK's and Student Loans

Oh yeah I told you I was gonna do it. Here it is. Money makes the world go round people. So without further adieu.. those of you that want money from me can go fuck right off. Those of you expecting money from money can fuck right off as well. Those of you that owe me money, read this cause I'm tired of telling people to fuck right off. First case is student loans. I have a paymeny of just over $80 which is due every month. Apparently I missed 1 payment in my 3 years that I have been payinh the loan. Just 1 little payment. Thus since March I have received phone calls once a week, or daily until I tell them to wait a bit, I haven't gotten paid yet I'll get in touch with you. So every week until last week these moronic yet highly punctual people called me, asking for $80. Fuck Off already. GEEBUS! Alright now for the SK's. We all know monopolistic companies can never make a profit, with all that competition keeping their rates so low. Thus they have a very friendly and approachable staff. That was sarcasm in case you couldn't tell. These fuck bags, also want some money, and true I do owe them, but twice a month I have been calling them, telling them to not worry, very shortly I will be able to arrange making you payments. Wells after getting some nice threatening letters, which of course helped with my cash flow situation. Well actually it did come at the opportune time. Anyways, FUCK OFF your money's coming now. GOT IT GOOD. Now my turn. Gimme my fucking money, Gimme gimme gimme. You know who you are. Gimme Gimme. The sooner the FUCKING BETTER!. Have a nice day.
Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 17:59:17 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Construction Convoys

Hello all. Decided to vent a bit today. I'll be venting tomorrow as well. I'm back to bitching and whining yes yes. Todays topic is road construction. I now have been late for work, everyday this week. It's getting ridiculous. It takes me over an hour to do my 20 mile drive and that's with doing some extreme speeding in excess of 140kmph. Guess tomorrow I'll have to get up early. Like around 2pm so I can be at work on time. What really bothers me about this is, I never se anyone doing anything except for holding the stop and slow signs, and driving their trucks. Not working, just driving them. No road equipment moving at all. Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. I wish that they could do this nothingness at night. It would save me from being late for work and probably alot of other people late for their whatchamacallits. Less traffic would be held up if they'd just work at night, or perhaps actually work. My vehicle also gets pelted with rocks, which is not cool at all. Bastards! Anyways there's my venting for the day. Tomorrow I'll be fucking venting. Stay tuned.
Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 19:08:11 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Newest Interweb Fad

I am blogging because almost all of you have an unhealthy addiction. It's called facebook and although it might seem cool right now, it will pass. Also yes I am using it, not very often though, and only because my job has alot, and I mean alot of nothing time and farting around on the computer at least has the illusion that I am working. For some of the rest of you, facebook is an unhealthy addiction. You are probably on it. Now this is just me I've tried playing around on it, people have told me its cool, but as far as I can see, it's a great way to stalk your friends from the comfort of your own home or office. That's about it. Sure there are features on there that might appear cool, but thus far, all but two of them, are quite lame, even beyond lame. Lame to the 10th power even. This is a warning to you all. Think about this. Someone likes you, or is even bored. They can look at your profile, and all your friends profile. It's quite easy. Click on the photos icon on the side. It shows you every photo posted by everyone of your friends. Creepy huh?? Don't take my word for it. Play around with. Try all the lame "applications" on there. Yes they are lame to the 10thpower. This is just my opinion but it's sad really. I feel sorry for you people that are addicted to this site. Even sadder to the ones that take it seriously. There are some people that have cute little bears on their profile that you can click and pet. CREEPY. This is just my opinion tho. If you doubt me. www.facebook.com  sign up. Experience lameness to the extreme power of 10.
Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 17:36:56 | Permanent Link | Comments (1) |

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Father's Day

Well today is Father's Day. The day that I am proud to be a father. I love my kids with all my heart. They are growing up and I am trying my best to ssteer them in the right direction. Kinda hard with them being so young but I see signs of it working.

Basically just wanted to say what a blessing it is to have this day dedicated to Father's. Don't take us lightly. We may not be as nurturing as mothers but we are every bit as suportive and proud. Anyone who is a father knows this.

One final note, since today is Father's Day and after talking to my daughter tomorrow is Kid's Day. She asked me when Kid's Day was, because there's a day for Mom and a day for Dad but not one for Kids. My line of everyday being Kid's Day didn't fly. Tomorrow is Kid's Day. I'm starting a new holiday. Copyright. HAHA. The royalities are all mine now. As far as I know, Kid's Day only needs, kids and a cake. Guess I'm making a cake tomorrow as well. Happy Father's Day to everyone today and happy Kid's Day to all those little rugrats tomorrow.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 19:59:56 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Horoscopes

Aquarius You will travel in your future when your tongue freezes to a the back of a speeding bus. Fill that void in yor pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day.

Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the apollo virus. You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say.

Airies  The look on your face will be priceless, when you find that 40lbs watermelon in your colon. Trade toothbrushes with an albino, dwarf and give a hickey to Meryl Streep.

Taurus  You wil never find true happiness. What you gonna do cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you will make up to a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep.

Gemini Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulants. Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest.

Cancer The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face-down in the mud. Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your drivers test.

Leo Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your bosses face. Eat a bucket of tuna flavor but then wash it down a gallon of strawberry quick.

Virgo All virgos are extremely friendy and intelligent, except for you. Expect a big surprise today when you end up with your head impaled upong a stick

Libra A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented then you. Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendicts bursts and squeezes. 

Scorpio Get ready for an unexpected trip, when you fall screaming through an open window. Work a little harder on low your self esteem, you stupid freak.

Saggitarius All your friends are laughing behind your back. Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest you have hanging in your den.

Capricorn  The stars says that your an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lieing. If I were you I would lock my doors and windows and never ever ever ever ever leave your house again.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 02:57:22 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Thursday, June 14, 2007

My Date with Ryan

Last night I decided to go up and surprise Kim with a visit. She was quite pleased. Now about my date with Ryan. I'd liek to add that Ryan is very pretty and also sweet. He waited up for me last night, and I was about an hour late. Stupid trains. We decided we'd go for some milkshakes but first the Robinson mobile needed fuel. Off we went and after the Esso was unsatisfactory to Ryan, we pulled up at Regina Cab. Ryan was bragging how gas there is $1.09 plus an additional .04 off per litre. I tell you this guy will be loaded some day but, hands off! After the fuel up we went and he showed me the outside of his sister's new home. She's gonna be living right in the hood. I hope to hell she gets a dog, pretty shady part of town there. Then we were on to the adventures of milkshake drinking. Ryan told me that A&W has the best milkshakes but kept informing me that the were closed and I was "late". I apologized but to no avail. The first McDonald's we went to, the srive thru speakers were not working. We drove tothe window and ordered 1 vanilla shake for myself, as I am plain and boring, and 1 strawberry for Ryan, as he is girly and oh so pretty. The dude at the window informed us that we were 17 minutes too late. Bummer. So we were off to the north end of town. Which had similar results, except there excuse was, they were cleaning their machine, which apparently takes 3 hours. Once again I was reminded that I was late. We were then off to the south end. We raced an S10 and won. Woop! WOOP! On our way to the other end of the city, we discussed puddles. The sprinklers were going and we were discussing if sprinklers made puddles, or if they just washed half your car. But we arrived and after seeing the sign that said no ice cream. Our dreams were crushed. We ordered a cheeseburger and a coke. Then got to discussing with the drive thru lady that we were only really out for milkshakes. She replied that she could hook us up. YAY! Our dreams were finally fulfilled. We enjoyed our milkshakes. Ryan enjoyed his burger and I enjoyed my Coke in the morning. On our drive back, we thought how silly that we drove all the way up north, when right close to home was the savior to our dreams. We also discussed why ice cream is not needed for milkshakes. After chilling back at the pad, Ryan wouldn't commit to anything besides the meals, bastard, we pondered going for refills. Maybe next time Ryan, maybe next time.
Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 19:08:51 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Welcome to the 20th Century, Danny

I am so proud of myself. Yesterday I burnt my first ever CD. I am astonished and the quality and speed of downloading and burning. It takes me a few minutes to download most songs, and I spent a good hour burning 7 CD's. These CD's have great names, Like Martin's Metal Mayhem 1, 2, and 3. I also have 2 CD's of just Metallica. Eat that Lars. I stole money from you, I will never have to buy a CD from you again. EVER! I also did it without using napster, so SUCK ON THAT LARS! Then I have Martin's Master Mix 1, oh there will be more to follow, and Weird Al. Yup the 20th century is pretty cool. She's treating me alright. I like her.

http://www.jokeroo.com/funnyvideos/president_bush_watch_stolen.html  This video is so awesome. Watch his left arm. the watch just disappears. Good for the economy that is I say.

http://www.shoutfile.com/v/S4Q6C0Lg/Mcdonalds_Food_After_10_Weeks   What is with the fries??  You ever wanna eat at McDick's again??

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 18:32:23 | Permanent Link | Comments (3) |
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