The World Needs Heroes

I recently went to a movie, last night. I’m reviewing as a warning to my friends, loved onces, enemies and people that I just can’t fucking stand. DON”T DO IT. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. I went into this movie thinking it was gonna suck balls and it sure didn’t disappoint. I’ve purposely seen bad movies as a friend once had a bad movie night. Those movies were horrible but Twilight made them look like a Oscar Nominee. The only positive thing there is to say about this movie is the scenery is nice. The music is horrible. It’s liek the took the shitty music from the previous 3 movies and played it during this movie. It takes at least 40 minutes to get into the main plot, which is weak, thin and I’m not sure you can call it a plot. Is getting pregnant a plot? Sure it’s with a vampire which isn’t suppose to happen but still it’s not a plot. The acting is awful. None of the actors show any emotion whether they be discussing tradegy or love or even talking about their own farts. The scenery was beautiful though. Some highlight of this movie were when a person in the theatre spilled their M&M’s or Smarties or money. We got to hear it hit the floor and roll and bounce around. It was pretty cool. This movie should not be viewed by any audience, EVER. I don’t even wish my enemies or the people that I fucking wish would die, and some of them have, to see it. Yes it is that horrible. It should be a 30 minute sitcom. Everything just drags on and on and on and on and on and on and the worst part about it is, there is another fucking movie. This was only part 1. I’m nt sure part 2 can be any worse but I will never know and you shouldn’t either. After this warning I have given you and you still feel like you should waste 2 hours of your life I suggest you watch the Star Wars Christmas Special 4 times. That should cover it. Tis the season.

I don’t know how I should feel. Maybe someone can tell me.

I hear voices in my head
They counsel me
They understand
They talk to me

You’ve got your rules and your religion
All designed to keep you safe
But when rules start getting broken
You start questioning your faith
I have a voice that is my savior
Hates to love and loves to hate
I have the voice that has the knowledge
And power to rule my fate

I hear voices crying
I see heroes dieing
I taste blodd thats drying
I feel tensions rising

I hear voices in my head
They counsel me
They talk to me
They understand
They talk to me, they talk to me
They tell me things that I will do
They show me things I’l do to you
They talk to me
They talk to me

All the lawyers are defenseless
All the doctors are diseased
And the preachers are all sinners
While police just take the grease
All you judge, you are guilty
All the bosses, I will fire
All the bankers will have losses
Politicians all are the liars

I see darkness falling
I hear vocies calling
I feel justice crawling
I see faith has fallen

I hear voices in my head
They counsel me
They understand
They talk to me, they talk to me
They tell me things that I will do
They show me things I’ll do to you
They talk to me
They talk to me

I hear voices crying
I see heroes dieing
I taste blood that’s drying
I feel tensions rising

I hear voices in my head
They counsel me
They understand
They talk to me, they talk to me
They tell me things that I will do
They show me things I’l do to you
They talk to me
They talk to me

I know you know
Just what I am
It tears me up
And I can’t stand up on my own
My legs are dead
I cannot mend
It’s killing me

I’ve felt so numb beneath the surface
The walls grow dim and I can’t breath
My hands are tied I cannot feel
I hear it over and over again

It’s so loud inside my head
These little voices calling me
It’s so loud inside my head

I left you there without a reason
It took so long to finally see
I felt so numb inside I bleed
And I had so much left to give

It’s so loud inside my head
These little voices calling me
It’s so loud inside my head
These little voices calling me
It’s so loud inside my head

Why can’t you let it go
Why can’t you let it slide
Could you let it kill yourself inside
Why can’t you let it go
Why can’t you let it slide
Could you let it just kill yourself inside

It’s so loud inside my head
These little voices calling me
It’s so loud inside my head
These little voices keep calling me
It’s so loud inside my head
It’s so loud inside my head

The war is on now I’m just not sure who or what to start the assault on. Is the enemy of my enemy my enemy or my friend? Well when they are both attacking you I think the answer is clear as a diamond bullet. I just don’t know where to begin so I’m calling upon the League of ordinary Gentlemen for some assistance in the war. Are we attacking winter or the Sun is the question. Maybe if enough members assemble we can attack both. See the problem is Winter it’s cold and it snows and we have snow everywhere. I have long given up on battling Winter and Snow, since I had faith that the enemy of my enemy would befriend me for a brief moment in time. Then I would have cus my enemy once again as it shines down upon me with searing heat. Which brings me to my problem. See when the evil rays of the sun start to unite and for a coalition, it starts getting warmer out. This warmth and this time of year creates water. Farmers love and hate water but farmers are clearly idiots with a crisis of their own, although they do feed the world so cudos. Anyways this snow is melting and in its water form can pentrate places that Snow normally cannot, like my basement. Myself and a member of the League were shovelling snow for hours last night until we finally had had enough and moved on to the beer phase of the plan. Alas the beer phase was of no use, except I did sleep quite well. Snow is still attacking me in my home and I’m calling upon the League to put a stop to it. We can put our young minds together and come up with a solution, not another problem. I call upon you League of Ordinary Gentlemen to aid me in my WAR against Winter and the Sun.

You steal a man’s life. Take away what he is most passionate about. Make him totally revamp his life. Make him change every aspect of who he once was. Now you might ask yourself how long did this person survive, 5 years and counting.

I don’t like who I am right now. I don’t like what I’ve become. I don’t like where I am. I don’t like how I got here. I don’t know what’s become of me. I don’t know where I’m going. I’m lost inside my internal abyss. I see no way out. I cry out for help but my words get lost in the wind.

Alone I stand a broken man. I see nothing in my eyes and the more I see the less I like.

Ever feel like your just stuck in the middle? I sure do. We all should actually. I particularly feel like I am caught between a war over this planet between 2 alien beings with extraordinary power. No I am not talking about the Skrulls and the Kree, I’m talking about Winter and the Sun. I’ve expressed great dislike and hatred for the sun, some of you know this, but I almost share an equal amount of hatred for Winter. Winter with it’s cold and it’s snow and it’s ice and it’s cold. There is no way to fight it. Sure some battles can be fought against the evil Snow but there is little to do against the Ice allot less can be done about the Cold. The Snow can easily be manipulated and moved almost at will, even by one person armed with a small shovel. This takes time and sweat but victory can be had. You just have to never give up and continue to fight fight fight. However Ice is a different story. We try using chemical war fare on it, battling it with salt and gravel but little is done. Ice never really goes away, we just mask this evil doer and try and survive her wrath. Cold is even worse. Cold is so evil that in her extremes we can only avoid her in hopes of survival. Cowards always live to fight another day. I wish I had some way of battling the onslaughts of Ice and Cold. All I can think of is praying to another enemy of mine, the Sun, in hopes of its sheer power will eventually destroy Ice and Cold and Winter shall be gone for another 6 or 7 months. However is the enemy of my enemy my friend, or just another enemy. I choose enemy. Why you may ask? Well the Sun clearly does not care about my, or your well being. Here he is slacking off now and in a few more months he will have Winter so overpowered that we will be begging for mercy once again. Why can’t these 2 alien beings go fight there fight on someone else’s planet. This planet is mine and I am powerless to take it back. We all are. Survival is all our race can do, it’s all we have ever done. I guess we shall all continue on surviving in hopes that one day, just one day some genius will figure out how to stop alien beings from fighting over our resources. Perhaps a force field should be made. Let’s not contact that guy that made the ozone. He clearly had some miscalculations.

I was stuck at home watching tv the other day, yes I know, and I swear tv was trying to purposely direct my attention. It seemed that everything I watched spoke to me. The milk commercials, Two and Half Men, etc etc. Anyways I came across this commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZFY2I-EWQY&feature=related and it really had me thinking.  So women that wear low cut tops apparenty do not want their cleavage to show. Interesting… Fascinating.  Yes I know. A question is arisen from this. No I’m not going to answer it. I think you know the answer already.  Fine I’ll answer it in video form.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mU6hOT5fkEE

NUFF SAID

Greetings sport fans.  A long awaited addition of Fucking You Friday’s has returned. It’s been awhile but I’ve been happy, things haven’t been pissing me off lately nor have people, except…. my fucking landlords. I don’t get what there fucking deal is. They obviously have some kind of problem with me but I can’t fucking figure it out. I’m a good tenant. I have yet to pay rent even a day late. I haven’t wrecked anything, heck I’ve even fixed a few things and offered them advice on how to fix things and no not in a rude or assholeish way. For some reason though, every time I see the lady she asks me to cut my grass, even when it is raining or has rained. I do cut my lawn regularly, not allot, maybe once every 10 days, depending on growth but I do take care of it. I even recall one time where I just cut the grass and she told me I should rake it. FUCK YOU! I live here, I deal with. I’m fine with 3 clumps of grass on my backyard. Go bother someone else BITCH. FUCKING BITCH. Anyways this her telling me about lawn care has been going on since I first moved in and I’m not expecting it to stop. Maybe though she’d be fucking pleased if I burnt down all the grass and trees or maybe then she would give me shit for my dirt being too dirty and that I should go vaccum some of it up or something completely fucking mind boggling fucking retarded like that. I still recall the letter I got about trimming my trees. The letter stated that I had been told numerous times to trim them. I guess the term numerous now means fucking ONE. One fucking time. Oh and trees is also singular. But I did tree the trees, yes more then one because I understand verbs and nouns and plurals you fucking bitch. Get this tho, after all the hard work done to trim the trees I still got told that I had to trim another tree. I think it is just one this time. Actually one. God I hope so. Man I’m gonna just start a fucking fire.

Now you might think that this is the conclusion of my fucking rant but my friends you are sadly mistaken. I’ve got another point to make which is still somewhat of an issue. As of right now, and since last Friday the hot water heater has been having issues. Issues involving staying lit. You can light it now, and it remains lit for awhile, then it goes out. Now normally I would consider being a good tenant and actually figuring out what the problem is. As in I’d watch it and see what caused it to go out but since I got in shit for lighting the pilot, I’m not gonna. They can fix it. I’ll just continue to light the pilot when I choose or rather desire to have hot water. I actually got in shit for lighting a pilot light. I don’t know how many ways there are too light a pilot, besides the way where it actually lights and doesn’t. Pass and fail. Here I though making fire in the thing that is suppose to have a fucking fire in it was a pass. Nope. Apparently I have failed as a human being and a tenant once again. I believe the fucking term used was monkeying with. Yes apparently I was fucking monkeying with the hot water heater. I thought I was just simply lighting a fire in a thing that should have a fire in it. If I monkeyed with it, you’d fucking know. It would be in a few pieces or extra pieces would be somewhere, possibly the dumpster but you know what, it would probably fucking work. one last little beef here. I kept getting questioned, for 3 days straight about how I knew the pilot was out wince when it was checked, there was still hot water. Well I used my mother fucking eyes you mother fucker. I could see that the pilot was not out, and I didn’t have to do a damn thing to fucking see that, except for bend down and look in the hole. No monkeying at all is fucking required to check for a fire you fucking cock knuckle. Eyesight works better than hindsight. FUCK YOU Landlords and please for the love of god just FUCK OFF for a minute or two.