Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tuesday’s Tight Tip to Tackle Tediousness

This Tuesday’s tight tip to tackle tediousness has been progressing quite terrificly. I have went about it all week and none of you are the wiser. Teehee Teehee. It is also going to continue as I also have fouled you all into thinking I have morals. Teehee Teehee. This is a terrific example of how my tediousness has been tackled tightly and terrificly.

What’s Wrong with Society?

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have coveted our neighbor’s possession’s and called it ambition.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 04:23:57 | Permalink | No Comments »

Monday, November 16, 2009

What’s Wrong with Society?

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have abused power and called it politics.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 21:42:18 | Permalink | No Comments »

Sunday, November 15, 2009

What’s Wrong with Society?

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called building it self esteem.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 18:20:13 | Permalink | No Comments »

What’s Wrong with Society

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 04:14:15 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, November 13, 2009

What’s Wrong with Society

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 22:32:25 | Permalink | No Comments »

What’s Wrong with Society

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 04:40:03 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

What’s Wrong with Society

I am doing another little series of pieces here. Enjoy.

Oh Heavenly Father, I come before you today expressing my concerns. I know your word says”, “Woe to those who call evil good, but that is exactly what has happened. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 17:56:15 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday’s Tight Tip to Tackle Tediousness

This Tuesday’s tip to tackle tediousness tightly is to find a lazier bum then you are and work for him. It tackles tediousness totally terrific and even helps with your tightness. By tightness I mean money for you totally perverted souls out there. Find someone that is so goddamn lazy that it barely makes it worth your while getting out of bed. Why find someone so terribly lazy is because it makes you feel alot more terrific about yourself and thous less tedious. Tah Dah and Tah Tah!

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 04:47:37 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Tuesday’s Tight Tip To Tackle Tediousness

This Tuesday’s tight tip to tackle tediousness is to play video games. Play them often and play them all day. Use your imagination and make it even more of a game. Keep trying to beat your own goals and try not to go mad doing it. It is hard being creative with the new video games nowadays, lousy technology has them so advanced that hardly any imagination is needed. Try harder then the game though. You can do it. Tackle your tediousness terrificly and tediousness will no longer leave you tiresome and tedious.  Imagination is a wonderful tool to tackle tediousness terrificly. Use it wisely. Tah Tah!

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 22:05:31 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Did You Know?

An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it.

In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.

Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.

Pilgrims ate popcorn at the first Thanksgiving dinner.

Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

Armadillos can be housebroken.

The first Fords had engines made by Dodge.

A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.

A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.

Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as Tennessee.

The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code.

Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.

One in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.

The average American will eat about 11.9 pounds of cereal per year.

Over 1,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows.

Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning.

It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.

Thomas Edison, light bulb inventor, was afraid of the dark.

During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That’s the weight of about 6 elephants.

Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can’t find any food.

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can’t flow.

More people use blue toothbrushes than red ones.

A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.

Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, every time you breathe.

In the White House, there are 13,092 knives, forks and spoons.

Slugs have 4 noses.

Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch TV for 3 hours.

Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.

Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.

It’s against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.

There wasn’t a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.

Honeybees have hair on their eyes.

A jellyfish is 95 percent water.

In Bangladesh, kids as young as 15 can be jailed for cheating on their finals.

A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump.

The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

America once issued a 5-cent bill.

Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung.

A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

The pitches that Babe Ruth hit for his last-ever home run and that Joe DiMaggio hit for his first-ever home run where thrown by the same man.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head.

In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs.

Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.

The Pentagon has twice as many restrooms as necessary. When it was built, segregation was still in place in Virginia, so separate restrooms for blacks and whites were required by law.

In England, in the 1880’s, “Pants” was considered a dirty word.

Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

In 2003, there were 86 days of below-freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.

As you age, your eye color gets lighter.

There are 206 bones in the adult human body, but 300 in children (some of the bones fuse together as a child grows).

The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.

It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.

The longest living cells in the body are brain cells which can live an entire lifetime.

There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of “Lorne Greene’s Animal Kingdom”.

Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.

In 1985, the most popular waist size for men’s pants was 32. In 2003, it’s 36.

Seven percent of Americans claim they never bathe at all.

In 2004, one in six girls in the United States enter puberty at age 8. A hundred years ago, only one in a hundred entered puberty that early.

Newest trend in the Netherlands: Tiny jewels implanted directly into the eye.

A British gymnast survived a fall from a fourth story window because he went into a somersault and came down on two feet.

Jeffrey and Sheryl McGowen in Houston turned to vitro fertilization. Two eggs were implanted in Sheryl’s womb, and both of them split. Sheryl gave birth to two sets of identical twins at once.

In 1991, the average bra size in the United States was 34B. Today it’s 36C.

The average North Korean 7-year-old is almost three inches shorter than the average South Korean 7-year-old.

Every year, 2700 surgical patients go home from the hospital with metal tools, sponges, and other objects left inside them. In 2000, 57 people died as a result of these mistakes.

We forget 80 percent of what we learn everyday.

Pain is measured in units of “dols”. The instrument used to measure pain is a “dolorimeter”.

The Amish a diet high in meat, dairy, refined sugars and calories. Yet obesity is virtually unknown among them. The difference is since they have no TVs, cars or powered machines, they spend their time in manual labor.

As of January 1, 2004, the population of the United States increases by one person every 12 seconds. There is a birth every eight seconds, an immigrant is added every 25 seconds, but a death every 13 seconds.

Astronauts cannot burp in space. There is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

Fidgeting can burn about 350 calories a day.

Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

A baby is born without kneecaps. They appear between age 2 and 6.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

In a recent survey, Americans revealed that banana was their favorite smell.

The arteries and veins surrounding the brain stem called the “circle of Willis” looks like a stick person with a large head.

Brushing your teeth regularly has been shown to prevent heart disease.

A kiss stimulates 29 muscles and chemicals causing relaxation. Women seem to like it light and frequent, men like it more strenuous.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

Your nose and ears never stop growing.

Men get hiccups more often than women.

Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.

One quarter of the bones in your body are in your feet.

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.

Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails.

The average person laughs 15 times a day.

Posted by Master of Dark Illusions at 19:26:23 | Permalink | No Comments »