The World Needs Heroes

Thoughts of you still linger in my mind

Can’t shake them no matter how hard I try

I’ve tried and tried to run away

But nothing helps the stain in my brain

The only thing that seems to help

Is to lay motionless and wait for my

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Invisible tears with invisible pain

I wish they were enough to drown these thoughts away

Invisible tears with invisible pain

Maybe one day they will just float away

Invisible tears with invisible pain

Oh how long will they stay

How long

/

I lay awake and try to sleep

I close my eyes and see your faces

Your smiles and laughter fill my head

I pray to God for weeks on end

But nothing works not even

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Invisible tears with invisible pain

I wish they were enough to drown these thoughts away

Invisible tears with invisible pain

Maybe one day they will just float away

Invisible tears with invisible pain

How long will they stay

Oh too long

^

If your tears could not flow free

What would you do

Would you just wait for them to flow

Wash your pain down the drain

Would they eat and tear away at your very soul

Maybe one day this will all float away

I have waited far too long

For this pain to go away

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Invisible tears with invisible pain

I wish they were enough to drown these thoughts away

Invisible tears with invisible pain

Maybe one day they will just float away

Invisible tears with invisible pain

Oh how long will they stay

Oh way too fucking long

One night this week, I’m not sure which night exactly, I was tired of watching the Olympics, which I still am but nothing else is on so what the fuck is a guy to do, I decided to watch something to expand my mind and make me a smater person. Beingt he guy I am I like to share knowledge. I watched a documentary by a Canadian marine biologist called Sharwater. It’s about sharks and the need to save them. There is allot of info in there stated that the media is the reason we fear sharks. This candian loves diving with sharks and has never ever been bitten one. There is even footage of him with a 9 foot long shark sorta sitting in his lap while he holds it and pets it. He releases the shark and it swims away. He did this to prove a point. That point being that an animal that is that much larger than us could easily over power us and then eat us if it wanted. He also states that there have been no reports ever that have concluded that sharks eat human or that even any human flesh was ever found in a shark’s stomach. Any bites related to sharks are simply out of curiousity of the animal or mistaken identity. Once released we are not food, the shark releases and then you bleed to death and die or you live, whichever the shark chooses to do with you, being as it out powers you by ALLOT!

There was also some extensive research done that is on the film about the shark fin industry. The film maker state that over a million sharks, varying in species, are killed each year just for the fins. It also states that shark finning is the 2nd largest illegal business, 1st is illegal drugs. 1 pound of shark fins is worth $300 US dollars. In Costa Rica hey were called in by the President of the country to get rid of shark poachers. They caught a boat, eventually convinced it to port where the authorities were going to deal with it. Then in mid tow of the vessel the authorities contacted the anti poaching crew and told them to let the poachers go and that they were now under arrest. They eventually went to court over this and finally just fled the country of Costa Rica. The illegal iundustry brings in that much revenue that the tables turned on them.

How the shark dies is very unpleasant with this industry. It is pulled on the boar where it’s fins are cut of and then dumped back into the ocean. The shark, being as it has not fins, sinks to the bottom and dies a slow death as other fish and sea animals eat away at it. There were some intersting stats that popped up on the screen. Five people are killed by sharks each year, as opposed to other animals were bears had the biggest number at 100. I also stated that more people were killed each year by pop machines than sharks. Now I’m sur the most retarded of retards gets killed by pop machines by nonetheless a stat is a stat.

Watch the movie Sharkwater by a fellow Canadian and learn learn learn

It’s been a long and not so tedious week. My tips are really paying off. I hope they are helping you too. As you’ve noticed my tips are starting to become a little less conventional. That’s because if you had been following along and using the other tips, your tediousness should be down to just a few moments a day now. These last few tips have really been to entirely rid yourself of those tedious ways and soon you may be living a tedious free lifestyle. This week’s tip will defineately kill allot of your tediousness. The tip is to take on a room mate. Room mates allow you to not only have another peson living in your dwelling to tackle your tediousness. This person likely has his or her own tediousness to tackle and thusly the two of you can make a formidabe tedious tackling team. GO TEAM! There are certain criteria that will aid in your selection of a live in partner to create a tedious tackling team that you should look for. Make sure you are compatible with this person. Compatible does not mean you need to get along but at least you can talk, or yell to aid in tedious tackling. Are there things your household needs to aid in tackling tediousness. Things like movies, game stations, alcohol, and other related tedious tackling devices are nice to have around. Is this person going to be able to snap you out of your coma like state before bed. You know when you have all the lights off and are watching a movie or something and slowly drifting into that slumber. You get to the point where you are almost give up watching tv or reading and decide to go to bed when… all of a sudden their arose a slight cludda. The lights are switched on and you smell H2S gases. A beer becomes cracked, then another comes to you. It is already open so you drink the frothy brew. The taste hits your lips and movement stirs. The Teleford speaks, and your mouth starts to grrrr. Your coma like state has gone and faded. The lights are all on and your eyes are not jaded. You speak a litle, small talk ensues. Then she jumps in the shower, taking with her the brew. You lay awake and finish your show. Then the bathroom doors bursts open and you have no where to go. You chit and chat, and drink some more brew. Your night that was over, now continues to ensue. You drink and chat and play an old computer game. These games by Sierra are extremely lame.  You play and talk and drink more brew. When the night finally ends it is well past two. Then your alarm goes off and you begin your new day. Your head is throbbing and it really is quite gay. The tale of the room mate lives on and on. Your hangover also last till at least the next dawn. Tah Tah

This week’s tip to tackle tediousness tremendously and tightly is what should have been mentioned last week. Computer related issues affected it and they may affect this one as well. Time well tell tho. This tip goes along quite nicely with the last tip. The tip this terrific Tuesday to tackle tediousness tightly and tremendously is to have sex. Sex is fun and pleasureable. It’s also a great work out and possibly an acrobatic adenture. Your muscles get stretched and used, pain my follow if you over do it so be careful. What takes more time tackling your tediousness then the sex itself is the finding of a suitable partner for this activity, especially if you are a man. Women simply just have to ask and eventually they will receive. If us men ask, we quite often get struck by the female or ocasionally her much larger boyfriend/husband. Again be careful. What’s more important than safe sex is the safety of oneself when asking for sex. An injury prior and your evening is clearly ruined or allot less enjoyable (for her). Women are a confusing and perplexing creature, especially when one tries to get his willy wet. They will ty all kinds of tricks to get out of it. I have headache or just the plain and simple NO. Remember that persistince can be a key and that 45 no’s and 1 yes is technically a yes. Also, it is not illegal unless she wakes up. Good to know right? Not sure wht else I can pass on for knowledge here but I’m sure that this will help you tackle your tediousness tightly, and tremendously. I will add a litle something for all you ladies out there that 2 minutes in heaven is twice as good as one. Call me! Tah Tah

Just in Case You Get a Cheque…
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate. This is a very exciting program from the Sask. government. I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:

> > Q. What is Sask.’s Economic Stimulus payment?
> > A. It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.
> > Q. Where will the government get this money?
> > A. From taxpayers…
> > Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
> > A. Only a smidgen.
> > Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
> > A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-
> > definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
> > Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
> > A. Shut up or you don’t get your cheque.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:

> > 1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go
to China.
> > 2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia.
> > 3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
> > 4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala…
> > 5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
> > 6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
> > 7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in Canada by:
> > 1. spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
> > 2. going to baseball or football games, or
> > 3. hiring prostitutes, or
> > 4. buying cheap beer or
> > 5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in Canada.
Conclusion:
The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you’re drunk enough to go get tattooed.

This week’s tight tip to tackle tediousness tremendously is to have children. Children are always entertianing. Not always in a good way but if you are being tight with your money, you are not exactly looking for fun ways to be entertained. Even extremely well-behaved children will entertain almost constantly throughout your day, especially if you stay awake for that said day. I can’t even go in do details with the topics that will be discussed or the activities that will be performed or watched. The list is infinite and if you think that there is a topic that will not be used then you truely do not know the meaning of the word infinite. It’s allot like unobtainium, except that in a fictional movie namely Avatar, unobtainium is obtainable. I know wrap your mind around that for a second. Do not mistake the the entertainment that children provide with puppies or other animals. Children are 500 times more entertaining than any animal. Some even have less of an attention span. The less the attention span of the child, the more entertainment value that child is worth. Remember I am not talking about positive entertainment, like reading to them or watching a movie with. Those are great but far from few. Most of your entertainment with children will be done cleaning up after them, watching them do something completely and utterly boring and then getting yelled at by someone for not watching it, the list truely is infinite. INFINITE!! Just thinking about it does wonders. It may strike fear in the heart of many. Countries will be crippled. Mayham will ensue. I’m not talking about the mayham that a Kristin Teleford can do. That is so miniscule when compared to the mayham a child can provide that it seems hardly worth mentioning, but it was. Oh I should say entertainment not mayham. But most of you understand anyways. If not you will learn. This concludes this week’s tip to tackle your tediousness tremendously and tightly. TAH TAH! and MAYHAM

This weeks terrific tip to tackle tediousness tightly is requiring some thinking. I think I am running out of ideas to tackle tediousness. It does not mean I am less tedious than before. It just means that I need to thinkof how to tackle tediousness tremendously do I can give you the proper tips to tackle your tediousness tighty and terrificly. Thinking.. thinking… still thinking. I sure am tedious today. This getting a job thing is not exactly tackling my tediousness to the full extent. Thinking.. tackling tedious tightly tips… hmmmm. I’ve got it. Thinking is a great way to tackle tediousness tightly. That’s my tip for this week. Tune in next Tuesday for another tremendous tip to tackle tediousness tightly. Tah Tah

Ok I was really trying to drag the thinking bit on and on and on but it just got way to tedious.

This week’s tip to tightly tackle your tediousness went so terrifcly well that I wasn’t the slightest bit tedious enough last Tuesday to talk about tediousness. The tip of topic is so tremendously terrific yet thoughtless that it almost is not worth the trouble of mentioning. The tip is to become employed. YES! Employed or to get a J O B. Becoming employed might not be the best way to tackle tedious, but it is a tight way and in fact if it is a propler employment arrangement will increase your tightness. Now the better places to be employed are not in your own home and to be where there are others that are employed as well. This will allow you to exit your dwelling/place where all your stuff is/home and to go out and engage in an entirely new concept of life. If you find that you are tackling that trick ol’tediousness then hopefully there are others around you. Try forming a tedious tackling team at this place of employment. Daily saefty meeting might be required, bring refreshments and snacks. Hopefully this week’s tight tip to tremendously tackle tediousness works allot better for you than it does for me. As my situation currently stand I am just tedious in a new enviroment. Tah Tah

Today’s totally terrific tackling tediousness tip tightly is brought to you by D2(pronounced D squared). D2 is a two person team created on a day that was not at all like today, it was not snowing, there was no snow on the ground in fact and it wasn’t cold out at all. D2 is a person who previously inspired a post I did under this terrific tight tip topic, Danielle Sproule. I will let you know that she is not behind really any of this terrific and tremendously talented writing She is just the person responsible for the topic and the terrific talent is all mine. If I don’t give her any credit though she tends to whine a little so I am doing this solely out of the best interest for myself as well. This is mine and I can do with it as I want. Anyways that was some talented typing, wasn’t it . Now for this week’s tip, brought to you by D2. Maybe I should change the name to D3, )D tripled) since it is at least two parts myself and one part her. Nah, she’ll likely whine about this as it is. Anyways this week’s terrific tip to tackle tediousness tightly is to play/assemble/get frustrated with/destroy those wonderful christmas presents you received. Whether it be a shelf that was given to you in 3 boxes without any damn tools, an ipod to hook up to the interweb and download various things, or worst of all your childrens’ or little relatives’ toy. Doing this should occupy the rest of your christmas day and in fact if you were doing this for children, your hours and hours of labor likely made their day for 10 whole minutes. This might turn into a friday post. Anyways enjoying assembling and playing with your christmas gifts and try not to destroy them in the process. If you do happen to destroy them, then god speed as you have just ruined Christmas for another innocent little soul. Congrads and tah Tah!

This week’s tip to tackle tedious is still terrific even though the title suggests not. Trust me it is. It almost pains me to say this, actually it does hurt quite allot. Most of you will know why, especially if you know me, and I am sure some of you even agree with me. This weeks tight tip to tackle tediousness is to use that lousy and ungodly retarded internet site known as facebook. WAAHH! Yes facebook is sucky, lame and there is not allot of good coming out of it. It tears at the cockles of my heart that everyone uses it.  However it is a great way to tackle tediousness.<insert long sigh here, no a longer sigh, cmon sigh like you really mean it> You can creep on all your friends and your friends’ friends. Also and this is my personal favoritest thing to do. You can comment on their statuses. I usually try to say something funny or inspiring or heck both, although this is solely my opinion of my remarks and I will remind you that were hurt or puzzled by my remarks that I meant no harm or foul and feel free to drop me a line telling me that I crossed a barrier. It may not help anything out but then I will know and you never know I might show you some compassion or at least a little consideration. So to Snoop Dogg this up facebook is a terrific way to tackle your tediousness and it can be done tightly. Tah Tah!